The Quell
by monsterjohnster
Summary: Atala Copperwood is now 20 years old and is presented with her biggest fear: a chance of going back into the arena.
1. Chapter 1

The Quell

The 72nd Annual Hunger Games Book II

**Chapter 1**

My footsteps crunch on what's left of the snow. Ice has frozen over between the bricks of cobblestone that line the street. It leaves the ground slippery but I manage to keep my footing.

The clouds are grey. The trees are grey. Everything has a tinge of grey. That seems to always be the effect of a cold winter.

I walk down the path to the gate of the Victor's Village. It creaks as it swings open. I'm still the newest occupant of the Village. Nobody from District 5 has won the Hunger Games in three years. I turn around and look back at the set of twenty houses behind me. I've never met the first four victors from District 5. I've only ever seen Charlie and Rootina, who live in the fifth and sixth houses, which are right across from each other. They were my mentors only a few years ago. But I haven't seen them since my Victory Tour.

My walk continues to the main road, where I continue straight towards the Justice Building. Nobody's out yet. It's too early. Even those who work at the power plants haven't started getting up yet. My father works at one of the many power plants here. I don't see him anymore, though. He abandoned me. Left me when I was reaped because he was afraid. I don't know what of, but he's a coward nonetheless. I will never forgive him for that day three years ago when he left his own daughter without even saying goodbye.

The aging cobblestone turns into cracked pavement, and buildings start jetting up around me. Our town center isn't big, but compared to the other districts we have it good. I remember in District 12 all they had was a Justice Building and a few abandoned warehouses, but that's all. At least we have something that resembles a town. Each building is made of a similar red brick and nearly all of them are used for energy research. There are people constantly trying to make power usage more efficient for the Capitol. With their ever-changing needs, it's hard to meet the energy requirements yearly. So, we have special teams of people who think of new ideas and put their brains together to come up with brilliant ways of saving power. Collectively, we've nicknamed them efficiers. Annie works in the building closest to the town center. Every other day I wait for her on the steps of the Justice Building, and at 4:30, she's released to go home. Instead of going home, though, she comes to my house in the Village. On the days that I don't wait for her, she goes to her normal house.

I pass through the town center and take a curve around the fountain that's in the middle of the square. Posted all over it are pictures of Katniss Everdeen and Peeta Mellark, the lovers and winners of the 74th Hunger Games. They came on their Victory Tour visit a few weeks ago, and people still haven't stopped talking about them. Personally, I think it's all tacky. From the way they're kissing each other on all the posters to the way they giggle and laugh on TV, it just annoys me. If I had to choose one of them, it would have to be Peeta. Everyone adores Katniss and I just can't stand her.

I lean over the fountain that isn't even running and snatch one of the posters. I stare at Katniss and Peeta's faces for a while and get a little jealous, wishing I had the same amount of fame that they have. I let the poster fall into the basin of the fountain, which is filled with snow and dead leaves. Then, I continue on my way across town.

As I walk further away from the town square, the buildings around me get smaller. Finally, at some point, I'm walking along a single path similar to the one that leads to the Victor's Village. Tiny white stones make up this path, as opposed to the cobblestone making up the other one. My walk is steady and I keep my head down. I keep it down until I reach the entrance of the cemetery. I look up and I feel a pain in my chest, one that tells me to turn around while I can and don't look back. Instead of walking forward just yet, I look up at the archway that opens the stone wall to the cemetery. While the Victor's Arch is made of metal, this one is made of stone. It depicts an angel reaching up from the right, wearing a crown on her head and expanding her beautiful wings. She holds a garland of roses that falls to the left side of the arch. On a silver plaque to the left, the words "Fallen Tributes" are etched in. I enter the cemetery and look at the mass grave. Tons of gravestones, 141 of them, to be exact. I follow the small white path of little stones around the left side of the cemetery and walk straight back until I hit the second to last row. The second gravestone is labeled "Billee Abernuckle."

I stand in front of the stone and kneel down.

"Hi." I whisper to Billee as if he can hear me.

On my knees, I waddle closer to the stone and brush of the snow that has collected on its top. Then, I sit to the right of the gravestone and lean my right shoulder on it for support.

"I didn't bring you anything today," I tell Billee. "I haven't been sent any flowers lately."

I look down at the snow-covered grass in front of his grave, as if Billee's talking to me.

For some reason I start to cry. I can feel my face heat up and my vision is blurred by my tears.

"I'm _so_ sorry," I say to the ground. I turn so my whole body is facing where Billee's body rests.

"You didn't deserve to die, it should have been me." I want Billee to tell me it's okay and that things will get better, but I don't get a response.

"This is stupid," I say, shaking my head and wiping the tears from my face with the soft white gloves I have on.

"It's been three years. I should be over it, right?" Once again, no answer.

And then I go back to my regular schedule. I give Billee half an hour to tell me anything. I sit and try to listen, but I know I'm just kidding myself. He's not actually here, so why do I do this? I have no idea.

Usually when his half hour is done, I get to talk. Sometimes I talk for too long and then I feel bad because I've given him a time limit but I haven't taken one myself. So, when I finish, I give him the same amount of extra time I took so he can continue talking to me. Today, though, I decide to let him talk and that's it. I keep my mouth shut and spare him my tears and complaints.

I sit next to his grave for some extra time and then start to get up. Once I'm on my knees again, I say goodbye, kiss my hand, and place it on where his name is engraved on his gravestone.

"I love you," I tell him. I always let him know this.

Upon standing up, I realize how wet my clothes are. I've been sitting in snow and not thinking about it, so my butt is numb and my ivory riding pants are soaked. I also have on a white, knit cashmere cape with brown fox fur around the collar. The cape flares out at the ends, so the back rim of it, too, is soaked from the snow.

I exit the cemetery and walk back through town. Most workers are already on the street, finding their way to whichever building or power plant they're part of. When I get to the town square, I go to the right and follow the road down straight. The town is set up like a wheel. Four major roads all begin at the start of the main buildings, and they all converge at the center where the fountain is, kind of like spokes on wheel.

The rising sun shines straight down the road I'm on. While other workers are walking with their backs to the bright light, I walk against the sunrise, making it hard to see. I accidentally bump into one or two of the workers and apologize, but they don't seem to care. All they care about right now is getting to work on time, so the few I bump into mutter 'it's fine' and continue on.

I arrive at the border of town and look out down the hill. It's a huge mess of small wooden houses, all painted the same grey that has chipped and faded over time. Now, most of the houses resemble their true, dark wood, which has a rotted down over the years. I easily spot Annie's house from all the times I've been there, and I cut through backyards to get there. Her house faces the sunrise, so when I arrive, I enter through the back door as to avoid walking around to the front.

I walk in and slam the door behind me so no cold air comes in. Annie's older brother, Pyrus is sitting at their large oak table.

"Is Annie still here?" I ask him.

"You just missed her," he says with his hands wrapped tightly around a mug. He's wearing a red and black flannel and jeans, both of which look entirely worn out. They're probably hand-me-downs from his father.

"Is your mom up?"

"No," he says. I stare at his golden blonde hair and then at his light blue eyes. You could see them even if the room were pitch black.

With a shift of footing, I say:

"Well then I guess I'll get going."

"Are you sure you don't want tea or anything?" Pyrus asks, releasing his hands from his mug and standing up.

"No, I'm fine. Thank you, though."

Pyrus walks over to me. He kisses me hard on the lips and holds my face, his hands still warm from the mug of tea. Then, he looks into my eyes and finally kisses me on the cheek. I've had a weird relationship with Pyrus. I didn't know him too well, but after the Victory Tour, I tried to avoid going to the Victor's Village by making constant visits to the Tilia household. Even though I mainly did things with Annie, Pyrus would sometimes join us. Then, a year later, when Annie had to start her career with the efficiers, I was left alone with Pyrus for most of the time. He has a night job at one of the plants, and he rarely sleeps during the day. So, the two of us started to get to know each other, and things took off from there. Neither of us has said anything to Annie, though. I don't think she'd be mad if she knew but for some reason it feels safer as a secret, like nothing bad can happen if nobody knows.

Pyrus makes his way back to his chair at the table.

"Be safe out there," he says as I open the door.

"I will," I assure him, and I leave without another word.

After a quick glance at my watch I realize I still have eight hours to kill until I see Annie because of how early I woke up. I decide to go home and make my mother breakfast.

The streets are empty once more but you can hear feint sound of people working inside each building. I walk by Annie's building and listen to see if maybe I can hear her voice, but obviously I can't. I make my way down the street that leads to the Victor's Village and I return to my house, which still seems new to me. My attempt at making biscuits is a success, so I bring two up for my mom and me. We eat them together on her bed and then down the biscuits with a cup of hot cocoa that I made from a chocolate Capitol powder. With more hours to kill, I go out again, leaving my mom to do whatever she does on her free time. Before going, I change out of my wet shirt and pants into dark jeans and a hooded, silver fox fur vest.

My legs take me to my old house, the one only a few doors down from Annie's. Time has taken its toll on the place. The wallpaper is falling apart and the wood that lines the house is rotting indefinitely. I find my way to my old bedroom and sit down on my bed, which is now just a mattress on a bed frame. I guess someone came and stole the sheets.

I have a flashback to the morning of the reaping, when I drank a cup of bitter coffee with my dad. The smell and taste of coffee repulses me now because it reminds me of him.

Suddenly I hear a knock at the front door. I go and answer it to find that it's Pyrus. I step out onto the porch to find that a slight wind has picked up.

"How'd you know I was here?" My arms are crossed over each other so I don't get cold.

"I saw walk you by before. Thought I'd bring you this." He holds up a brown wool blanket.

"Thanks," I say, taking the blanket with my right hand. "You can come in if you want."

He nods his head and walks inside with me. I notice the house is almost as cold as outside, so the two of us go upstairs, sit on my mattress, and lean against the headboard, wrapped together in this thick wool blanket.

We kiss each other for a little while and then we just hold hands. And then we kiss again and then hold hands. He let's me tell him all that I'm feeling and he listens too, providing me with reassurance that everything's going to be okay and that what happened to me is in the past. I try to let his words help me, but they only worsen the thoughts that are running through my mind, so I give him a polite thank you and kiss him on the forehead. Then, after a while of sitting, he falls asleep on my shoulder. His head warms up my neck, and his fingers are still intertwined with mine.

I feel happy with him. Right now, I feel safe, but only on the outside. On the inside I feel dark and afraid. I still haven't recovered from the Hunger Games. Is that a bad thing? Who can blame me for still feeling traumatized after such a horrible experience? I try my hardest to let my past go, like Pyrus has suggested, but I can never let it go entirely. I feel like I can throw away most of it, just let it all drift on by and hopefully someday I won't even remember Delly's name. But there's something holding me back. There's a part of me that still wants to hold on to the Hunger Games, I think. If I lose the Hunger Games, I'll be going back to the old me. After three years, though, I've gotten used to the new me, and I don't know if letting go of my past will make me better again or just make me worse.

I decide not to think about it too much because then I might go a crazy.

As if I'm not crazy already.


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

I wake up from a nightmare breathing heavily with my eyes wet. I look over and Pyrus is sitting there on the bed staring at me with tears of his own. I jolt up and continue looking at Pyrus. His expression is a mix between confusion and worry.

"What was I doing?" I ask, out of breath.

"You were screaming," Pyrus tells me. I swallow hard to refrain from crying. I look at his eyes, which are still wet with tears.

"I'm sorry…please don't cry," I say.

"No, don't be sorry, I was just worried, that's all."

"I just…" I start. But then my thoughts come together and I start reliving the dream I was having. I remember seeing all of the tributes die one by one until I'm the only one left. My attempt at not crying fails and tears come streaming down and I start to ramble to Pyrus.

"They were all there and they just kept dying and I wanted to do something but I couldn't and I kept screaming and screaming and—" Pyrus takes me in his arms and starts rocking me back and forth. I cry into his shoulder and I don't stop for a while. He rocks me and hushes me and tries to calm me down but I can't. My cries turn into gasps for air so Pyrus rubs my back repeating:

"You're okay, shh, everything is okay."

When my crying subsides a bit, I whisper into Pyrus's shoulder.

"I don't think I can do this anymore."

"What do you mean?" he asks.

"I think about them _all_ the time. And when I try not to they just keep coming back. And… and I tell myself it's going to be okay and to forget about it but whenever I do it gets worse. Sometimes I don't even think I should be alive anymore—" and this brings on more crying and then eventually I'm gasping for air. Pyrus makes every attempt to calm me down and when it finally works my eyes burn from rubbing them so much and my face is hot.

"Don't ever say that," Pyrus says with his forehead pressed against mine. "Never think that you don't deserve to live. I know sometimes life can suck _so_ much and you think that breathing isn't even worth it anymore, but you have to believe me when I say that things do get better," he gently wipes a tear off my face. "And I know I say that all the time, but you _have_ to trust me. Okay? It might not be easy now, but it will get better. I promise."

My hands are shaking when he finishes and I'm not sure why. Pyrus squeezes me tight and I let him because I need his warmth right now. I need to know that at least one person in the world cares for me this much. He kisses me and then we hug each other again, just for added measure. Then, we sit for a while until I look at my watch.

"We have an hour before Annie comes home," I tell Pyrus. He offers me a late lunch so we fold up the wool blankets and go back to the Tilia's house. Pyrus rips up a roll of bread and we eat it with butter and tea that he makes. We sit at the large wooden table in silence; I sit at the head of the table and Pyrus sits to my left. There are days we have together where we talk a lot and other days where we barely talk at all. I guess this is one of those days where we keep to ourselves and think about every possible thing we can think of. I drink my tea quickly, so Pyrus stands up when I'm done and grabs my mug.

"You want some more?" he asks.

"Yeah sure." Another cup of tea couldn't hurt. I'm not a fan of tea but drinking it calms me down. It's one of the only warm things I still have in my life.

As Pyrus strikes a match to light the old stove in the kitchen, the back door flies open. Annie walks in loudly, disturbing the silence we'd maintained for so long.

"Hey, you," Annie says to me and she throws her lab coat on the table. Pyrus pours tea into my mug and then holds my mug over the weak flame on the stove.

"Hey," I say to Annie. I watch her shuffle through the cabinet to find a mug.

"Why are you here so early?" She finds a mug and blows on it to get the dust off.

"I figured the house could use some extra company," I reply. Annie pours a mug full of the cold tea, which she leaves cold. Then, she sits down to the right of me and sips her cup.

"You look good," she says.

"How was your day?"

"Annoying. I've got a big migraine now so I guess this is my therapy," she gestures her mug. "What have you two been up to?"

I look at Pyrus and he turns to look at me, still heating up my tea.

"Nothing really," I tell her. "I visited Billee this morning."

"Well that's new," she says, sarcastically raising her eyebrows. I'm not mad at her for this because the amount of times I visit Billee's grave is kind of excessive. I guess I just feel as if I've never had closure. I wanted a proper goodbye with Billee, but all I ever had was the two of us yelling at each other by the cliff in the arena.

Pyrus sits back in his chair and slides my mug in front of me. I wave my hands over the cup and let the steam warm my hands.

"So are we staying here or going to my house tonight?" I ask Annie.

"Like hell I'm staying here," she laughs at me. "Of course I'm choosing the place with heat over the place with none."

It's funny how easily I've forgotten life before the Victor's Village. I used to live in a house set up the same way as Annie's—no heat or air conditioning. It was freezing cold until March and then it got hot until September. Our house in the Village is practically one temperature year round. I used to appreciate the seasons a lot more, but when you live in that sort of luxury you begin to prefer it more than what you were used to.

When Annie and I finish our cups, we get up to go. Annie doesn't pack anything because she has stuff at my house and I let her borrow nicer clothes for the night.

As we start to head out, Annie asks Pyrus:

"You coming with us?"

"What? Oh—yeah. Let me just…" he stands up, grabs his jacket in a hurry and follows behind us.

It's barely even five o'clock and the sun has already disappeared for the day. The navy blue sky turns darker and darker, revealing the millions of stars that light up the night. We walk quietly up the main road and hang right at the center of town. There are peacekeepers guarding the Justice Building as well as several other buildings, but they always let us pass. Seeing that it's two citizens with a victor, I guess they can't be too concerned.

The gate to the Village creaks as usual and we walk down the icy walkway to my house on the left. Only a few houses have their lights on. The other ones are pitch black. I can only wonder why someone would leave his or her house dark when it's nighttime.

I open the front door and we all walk inside. The aroma in the house overwhelms me: chicken and cheese and a vegetable of some sort. The three of us go to the kitchen to find my mom setting down cups at the table. She only puts down three cups and then looks up.

"Oh, I'm sorry, Pyrus. I didn't know you'd be joining us today. Let me get another setting." She hurries over to the cabinets and grabs a plate and a cup and then some silverware. Meanwhile, we all find our seats at the table. Annie and I sit next to each other, and my mother takes the head of the table. Pyrus sits across from me and we all begin to eat. We have breaded chicken and steamed broccoli with cheese melted on top. There's also rolls and apple cider. Because my mom spends the whole day at home, she usually prepares breakfast lunch and dinner. She's done it so much now that she's pretty good at whipping something together with whatever we have. I used to be the chef of the household, preparing meals for all of us while my mom and dad were at work. But now that my mom doesn't have to work and I spend most of my time alone at the cemetery or at Annie's house, my mom cooks.

While we eat I think of Annie.

"Mom?" I ask. She looks up from her food. "Do we have any aspirin left? Annie has a migraine from work."

"You do? Oh, here, let me go get you some." My mom stands up from the table and Annie begins to refuse.

"No it's fine I really don't need any. It's going away already."

"Well no, let me get you some it's no big deal," my mom insists. Annie stands up and puts her napkin on the table.

"If you really want me to have then just let me know where it is, I can go get it myself."

"You sure?"

"Yeah. I'm here all the time, you gotta stop treating me like a guest at some point."

My mom pauses for a moment and then responds.

"Alright, if you go upstairs into my bathroom it should be in the medicine cabinet in a big glass bottle."

"Thank you," Annie says and walks upstairs. My mom sits back down and we resume eating. Annie returns shortly and takes her aspirin with cider.

After dinner, Annie and Pyrus and I clean up the dishes and then go upstairs. We don't really do dessert unless there's a special occasion. As much as I love dessert, I never had it so much when I was a kid until I went to the Capitol, so I have no inclination for it now, either.

The three of us sit in my room for a little while and just talk. I like having this time with Annie and Pyrus. I get to forget about some of the real issues I have and just be normal. Even though we talk for a few hours I feels like only a short time. Then, Annie yawns and we decide it's time to go to bed. Annie sleeps in my room with me, so I tell Pyrus to sleep on the couch in the living room. He goes downstairs and I grab a few blankets for him.

"Before I leave, do you want water?" I ask Annie.

"Yeah," she says, pulling my covers up to her face.

I walk downstairs and go to the kitchen first. I pour three glasses of water and carry them with the blankets to the living room. Pyrus is lying down on the couch and the fireplace is lit.

I place two of the cups on the coffee table and bring the third one to Pyrus, he sets it on the side table and I sit next to him with the blanket folded up on my lap.

"Did you do that yourself?" I look over to the fire and Pyrus laughs.

"Yeah, figured I'd keep it toasty in here." He smiles so I smile too. He notices the blanket I have and lies down again.

"Come on now, tuck me in," he says, squirming into a comfortable position. I roll my eyes but laugh at the same time. I shake out the blanket in front of me and then drape it over him. I tuck it under every inch of his body from his feet to his shoulders. Then, I run my fingers through his soft blonde hair and kneel down to meet his level.

"I love you," he whispers to me.

"I love you, too," I whisper back. I lean forward and kiss him on the lips. It's a soft kiss, the one you wish you could repeat again and again.

"Goodnight," I say and stand up. I grab the two cups off the coffee table and see Annie standing at the doorway. She turns around and walks up the steps, so I follow after her.

I walk into my room and Annie's already under the covers again. From the doorway I ask:

"How much did you see?"

"Pretty much all of it."

"I' m_ sorry_," I say to her and walk the water to her side of the bed. "I mean, we wanted to tell you but we figured it was better kept a secret."

"Why? Because I'd mad if you guys were happy together?"

"I don't know," I say. She's making it sound like Pyrus and I are the dumb ones, which is actually a little true.

"Well, I don't care if you're wondering."

"You don't?" I ask and circle around to my side of the bed. I climb under the covers.

"Of course not," she reassures me. "If you're happy, I'm happy. Besides, if you two end up married I'll be your sister in-law, so we'll be closer than ever."

"True," I laugh. We turn out the lights and lie down.

"Thanks for being okay with it," I say to Annie in the darkness of the room.

"Thanks for getting my brother some action," she replies.

I laugh and fall asleep.


End file.
